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Post by Carma on Jun 4, 2007 5:21:34 GMT -5
just wondering, the ones who are married, how old were you?
cos this girl in my street got married when she was 20.. and I kept thinking, thats sooo young! I don't see myself married at 20, I'd want to have a 'live' of my own first... but maybe thats different when you're with someone at the age of 20 that you really love...
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Isa
Administrator
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Post by Isa on Jun 4, 2007 8:52:04 GMT -5
memccart: I think so bookaddict: It's going to be a beautiful wedding carma: people did think we were a bit young to be getting married, but I don't think age should be a factor - the important thing is that it feels right. Some people get married because they've been dating for so long they just feel they ought to be getting married, and to me that's not a good enough reason. Same thing for having children. (Oh, and I'd been living on my own for a while so maybe that helped too!)
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Michelle
First novel published
Posts: 2,563
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Post by Michelle on Jun 4, 2007 14:52:22 GMT -5
I was 21 (he was 23) which sounds really young, but it was right for us. We were both done with college, so that helped us convince people we were old enough. I had one uncle who told me that if I wasn't pregnant, then I should wait until I was 25 (not my favorite uncle). But most people knew that it was right for us. Even our priest told us that he usually makes young couples do extra marriage prep, but he thought that we were ok so he didn't make us do it. It's very weird now to be 24 and already married for over 2 years, but I was ready then and I'm happy now (or would be if we lived together at the moment).
Who all is engaged? Just bookaddict? I thought someone else was, too.
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Kristie
Novel turned into BBC miniseries
"If a book is well written, I always find it too short."
Posts: 7,214
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Post by Kristie on Jun 4, 2007 14:59:56 GMT -5
I guess you could say I'm unofficially engaged. There's an understanding of everyone that knows us that we'll get married, but there is no ring or public announcement of being engaged. Just have to be patient...which is hard at times
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Post by bookaddict on Jun 4, 2007 15:05:48 GMT -5
Kristie I know exactly how you feel! It was the same for us, and I was so excited when we did officially get engaged! The wedding plans are coming, but we want to buy a house first.
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Nathalie
Collection of short stories bought by Random House
Posts: 1,309
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Post by Nathalie on Jun 4, 2007 15:18:13 GMT -5
it is amazing how different it is in different countries agewise.
what i mean is, that here in germany, none of my friends are even close to consider getting married. in the US people tend to get married a lot younger. 1st wave after high school, then the huge second wave during/after college.
the majority of my friends in the US is either engaged to be married this year or spring next year, now that they all just graduated from college. it's craziness.
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Bina
First novel published
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Post by Bina on Jun 4, 2007 16:10:55 GMT -5
It is a bit confusing from our p.o.v. I mean I honestly can´t see myself getting married anytime soon, maybe when I´m 30. We finish our education much later if we go to uni than in other countries so that might be a reason. Getting married while you´re studying and trying to finance it wouldn´t make much sense. But hey, it´s great that you´re all so happy
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Nathalie
Collection of short stories bought by Random House
Posts: 1,309
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Post by Nathalie on Jun 4, 2007 16:16:39 GMT -5
is anyone here who has kids?
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Kristie
Novel turned into BBC miniseries
"If a book is well written, I always find it too short."
Posts: 7,214
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Post by Kristie on Jun 4, 2007 17:32:53 GMT -5
Kristie I know exactly how you feel! It was the same for us, and I was so excited when we did officially get engaged! The wedding plans are coming, but we want to buy a house first. ]One thing that I would like is to be engaged for a bit before starting to plan the wedding. I don't want to get engaged and then have to rush into a bunch of planning...
I've noticed that in the United States the average age of marriage is probably 23-25ish. Lots of people wait til they graduate college, but I know some of my classmates that graduated with me from high school in 2006 are already married (unplanned pregnancies). Nick and I are going to wait til we graduate and by that time we'll both be 23. I couldn't imagine waiting til I'm 30! I want to be done having kids around that time (and I want 3 of them!)
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Post by bookaddict on Jun 4, 2007 19:35:38 GMT -5
Same as us, we're taking our time to plan the wedding because it'll have to be big to accomodate our family. We want to get married before having kids, and that's a few years away. I just finished school so we're in the process of figuring out what to do next.
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Isa
Administrator
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Post by Isa on Jun 4, 2007 20:02:24 GMT -5
The only wedding my husband has ever gone to was his own wedding! None of our friends have gotten/plan on getting married, although many of them have kids already. Not a lot of people get married in Quebec, they tend to have kids instead - which is an even bigger commitment than a marriage when you think about it...
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Michelle
First novel published
Posts: 2,563
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Post by Michelle on Jun 5, 2007 0:14:14 GMT -5
I agree that waiting until you are done with college is a good idea. That's why we did it. But I went right back to school. I guess it was easier to finance since Ben is working (and I have massive amounts of student loans). I'm glad I didn't wait until I was done with law school. I like having the support of a husband when it gets tough.
I would like to have kids soon. I still have one more year of school, so it won't be until after that, but I think it might be soon after I graduate. I'm excited. I really want to buy a house and be a mom. I know I'm supposed to be some liberal feminist since I went to Michigan for 7 years, but that really is what I want right now (and I think it's the choice that's important).
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Post by Carma on Jun 5, 2007 4:31:10 GMT -5
It really is your choice that is important! (and your husbands as well.. ) It is a bit confusing from our p.o.v. I mean I honestly can´t see myself getting married anytime soon, maybe when I´m 30. Me too! I see myself getting married more close to 30 than to 20.. and I definitely don't won't kids till I'm.. also 30.. (well, thats what I think now..)
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Post by Dominique on Jun 5, 2007 4:33:53 GMT -5
I dont think I want to get married right away, I'm only 20 after all. But at the same time I wouldn't want to have my kids too late in life. I think it would be annoying to have them still living at home when you and your husband are like 55 to 60ish!
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Post by Carma on Jun 5, 2007 4:50:17 GMT -5
hmmm, that could be annoying.. and that could be the reason why my mom wants me to leave the house.. but in my family (from my dads side..) everybody got married late and got kids late... So it's kind of 'normal' for me...
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