Friendship Help

[gilmoreandbasketball]

Hey Guys. I know this is kind of a werid thread but I seriously need some help. So my bestfriend of almost seven years has been lying to me. What should I do?

[Halie]

Confront her, and ask her if she's been lying to you. If she keeps lying, say something like "I understand why you're lying to cover up the situation because you don't want to hurt my feelings, or you don't want to get in trouble (or something else), but I thought that you valued our friendship enough not to keep things from me. I'd still like to be friends and I hope we can work it out."

If that doesn't work and isn't followed by her spilling all, reevaluate your friendship. Is someone who lies really worth it to you?

[Kristie]

I'd have to agree on the confrontation move. But, just out of curiousity, how long has this been going on and what sort of thing is she/he lying about? Those two questions could help determine what to do, I think.

[Lu]

I agree with Kristie. Without knowing the situation, I think that confront her is the best thing to do.

[gilmoreandbasketball]

thanks guys.

It just kind of started in june and basically all the lies are about where she's going. For example, She will ask me to go to the movies and i say yes. But then the next day when I try to figure out what time and stuff she just blows me off with some random answers like "I think I have to go somewhere at that time". Idk and she got this new group of friends and tell about all the cool things they do and I always say things like "Wow that sounds like a lot of fun..wish I could have went". But she never invites me anywhere with them, and I have invited her numerous amounts of time to do things with my group of friends from school.

So I guess that problem is she can always find time to do things with these people who she has not for no less than probably a year or 2 yet when it come to haning out with me it's like pulling teeth

[gilmoreandbasketball]

So i just found out that today, which was a day that she claimed to be busy (she said that she had to go somewhere) she is actually with her other friends on this really fun boat ride, that i specially said I had wanted to go on at some point! OMG Im so annoyed and hurt...she makes her plans over Facebook so i can just go on her page and see that she's lying ;(

[Isa]

I'm so sorry, delia... sometimes friends grow apart, but the fact that she's lying to you about it makes it even worst. I really do think you should confront her about it, or else she'll just try to get away with it for as long as she can. Maybe she just hasn't thought about the fact that you wouldn't mind hanging out with her new friends?

[gilmoreandbasketball]

yeah thanks guys

[Carma]

Sometimes I don't get people. It's really mean of her to make the plans over facebook.. I'd also be hurt if one of my friends did that. But maybe she doesn't realize it?
I'd probably just ignore her for the rest of my life, but I don't think that's a good solution.

Good luck with this! i'm curious to know how it turns out... If you don't mind telling us

[Lu]

I'd be hurt as well

[gilmoreandbasketball]

well i pretty much caught her in all her lies and she at first she was really mad and ignored me for awhile but it all turned out pretty well. i went on vacation with her family and we reconnected and now i feel that our friendship is going back to what it was..but u guys really helped because I couldnt really talk to anyone about who knew her. Thanks again!

[Isa]

I'm glad it all seems to be working out. You know, she probably got mad at first because she was ashamed of herself... I hope it all goes back to the way it was!

[Carma]

I'm also glad that it seems to turn out in a good way. Way to go! I think you handled it well

[gilmoreandbasketball]

Hey, we could turn this into a sort of advice thread. I mean other people must have friendship or any other kind of problems and not really want to talk about it face to face with anyone. I found this helpful for my situation and I think others would as well. So anyone who needs alittle help feel free to use this thread!

[killjoykali]

That's a good idea. I sadly wouldn't have thought of that.

Also, I went through the same thing as you almost. Only I hadn't been friends with the person that long. She seemed so easy to trust but then she started lying to me and talking about me behind, and not behind, my back. And now, she's apologized, and she expects us to be good friends like nothing happened. The only reason she even apologized was because she found out that what she was doing actually upset me. I don't know why she thought it wasn't. I mean come on. She was always swearing at me, writing notes and giving them to me while saying someone else wrote them while I knew it was her. And the notes definitely weren't pleasant either. I can't even post half of the things that he said to me in them. It just really hurt that she did that. And it wouldn't have even been so bad if it was just her. But she was turning all of my other friends that were also he friends against me. The one friend that I could really talk to throughout all of this won't even talk to me anymore. And I don't even know what happened with that. She just suddenly stopped talking to me and that hurt me the most because we had been friends for years. I'm still trying to be friends with her again. She doesn't seem to hate me at least. She just won't really talk to me.