jessicalee
First piece published in the school’s newspaper
Posts: 79
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Post by jessicalee on Aug 10, 2007 11:32:24 GMT -5
Aww Tahlia, October weddings are beautiful!. Mine was October 15, 2004. There were some questions going around earlier about ages and wheter anyone had kids. Well I just joined, I was 19 when I got married, and now we have a one-year-old daughter named Aubrey. I didn't feel that I was too young, we had been together since I was 16, and known each other for longer. Congrats to Tahlia and Bookaddict, and good luck with planning.
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Post by tahlia on Aug 19, 2007 21:05:45 GMT -5
kristie and jessicalee - my wedding plans are not going so well. i'm really overwhelemed with everything. i bought a book to guide me in what steps to take next. but planning the wedding is expensive! we need to put downpayments for the church and reception hall. and we can't find a reception hall that we really like either. lol. I'm also scared. i know i love him and he loves me, but i have some lingering doubts, not so much with him, but with the concept of marriage- i am afriad of divorce. i just bought a wedding planning book, to help me. to the others who are married -how did you handle the planning and did you ever have any doubts?
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Isa
Administrator
Posts: 6,995
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Post by Isa on Aug 20, 2007 7:08:28 GMT -5
I must admit that planning a wedding in Canada is probably far easier - and way less expensive - than doing so in the States. I had also bought a book on how to plan my own wedding, and it really helped. There was a section on budget that gave you a pretty complete picture of what expenses would come up - just remember that even if it's your special day and you want it to be perfect, money won't buy you that. There are certain things you can choose to let go of or do differently in order to fit you budget and no one will notice. I think people will enjoy a wedding better if the bride is happy and not too stressed out about how everything is going As for marriage, I understand what you mean, so many people (including my own mother) were extremely cynical when we decided to get married. We got a lot of "why bother when 1 in 2 marriages fail?", but all of this didn't matter because we knew we were getting married for the right reasons, and that we'd be the 1 in 2 that doesn't fail. People might think you're naive for thinking like that, but that's only because they've forgotten that true love still exists! If it feels right for you and your fiance, and you really want to spend the rest of your life with him, then don't worry about anything else
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Michelle
First novel published
Posts: 2,563
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Post by Michelle on Aug 20, 2007 11:35:58 GMT -5
I wasn't too overwhelmed with planning the wedding, but I had a lot of help from our families - both financially and with the actual planning. You could always try to keep it really small and informal to keep the cost down. As for marriage, I definitely had doubts. After we had been engaged for about 2 months, I freaked out and we took a "break." I had just turned 21, we were living on different sides of the state. I was going out with my friends all the time and there was another guy that I had a crush on. But after spending some time apart, I realized that I loved Ben and I didn't want to lose him. I don't believe in the whole soulmate thing, but if you find someone you're happy with and you love, then don't let the fear of divorce stop you from getting married. Marriages take a lot of work - you just have to be willing to put in the effort. But most of the time it is really fun to be married - I love it.
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jessicalee
First piece published in the school’s newspaper
Posts: 79
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Post by jessicalee on Aug 21, 2007 22:25:05 GMT -5
I wish I could give some advice, but my Mother-in-law helped me with EVERYTHING. She was amazing. Not to mention, she knew someone who did flowers, someone who did pictures, etc. I agree with memccart, small, simple, and informal, it really cuts down on stress.
As for marriage, I love being married. I had a situation similar to memccart's I was really young when we got married, 19. We had a really rough patch a few months after, and I was always going out after work. Finally, I realized that it was ridiculous, because the one person who matterd to me more than anything was at home. I think the most important thing going into a marriage, is to refuse to give up even if it gets hard.
Side note...I'm watching everybody Loves Raymond, and it is Robert and Amy's wedding.
Good luck with everything.
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Post by tahlia on Aug 23, 2007 22:14:51 GMT -5
thanks for the advice. i want a simple wedding. the idea of a really fancy/expensive wedding seems so detatched from me, simple is more my style. but even simple is expensive. its going to be a big wedding because bruno has a huge family and several ppl are going to come from portugal. i think what really holding me back from planning everything is not being able to save.
as for the doubts, i agree if go into the marriage thinking im going to get divorced, chances are - i will. i used to always think that our marriage/relationship won't fail. ours wil be the one to last. i dont know what changed my mind, maybe the ring on my finger, made everything real, this is going to happen and the fear of being hurt in the future sticks out. but even if something does happen down the road, im sure it wil be well worth it. growin up with divorced parents, and learning in all my psych/socialwork/sociology class the stats on divorce - its like wow, not me!! lol, but i love bruno with all my heart and soul. he is an amazing person. and thats what counts.
i constantly hear, "your engaged???, how old are you??" im 21 and have been with bruno since i was 16. anonther good comment i hear all the time "you don't have much experience with other men" my dad is convienced i need to date around first. but i'm totally agasint the idea. if i know i love bruno, then why test it?
but on the bright side, on our week off we plan to find a wedding reception. october 2008 will be here soon.
thanks again everyone!
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Kristie
Novel turned into BBC miniseries
"If a book is well written, I always find it too short."
Posts: 7,214
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Post by Kristie on Aug 31, 2007 16:13:38 GMT -5
I'm glad that things are more clear for you now, Tahlia. I'm not engaged yet, but I'm 20 and have been with Nick since I was 15. No one has ever said anything to me about dating around to get more experience and make sure he's the one I want. Sure, some of my friends thought that when we'd been dating for a year or two. But every relationship is different. So I understand some of that criticism you're getting, but mine wasn't nearly as bad. I don't know when we'll get engaged, but we definitely won't get married until after college, at least til after I graduate. And I don't plan to date anyone other than Nick until then, even if it means I miss out on something else, because I love what I already have.
Good luck with the planning! I'm sure everything will work out great in the end!
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Isa
Administrator
Posts: 6,995
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Post by Isa on Aug 31, 2007 17:05:15 GMT -5
The way I see it Kristie, if Nick truly is the one for you, then you're not missing out on anything! I sometimes wish I would have met Syl when I was 15 because we would have had all that extra time together... but then he would have been 12 and that would have seemed just plain wrong
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Kristie
Novel turned into BBC miniseries
"If a book is well written, I always find it too short."
Posts: 7,214
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Post by Kristie on Sept 1, 2007 17:51:24 GMT -5
Haha, yeah maybe. Well, actually this couple that are family friends and that I babysit for sometimes they dated through junior and senior high school. And they're still perfectly happy, three kids later. So they dated for over 10 years before they got married!
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Post by bookaddict on Sept 2, 2007 12:00:22 GMT -5
Daniel and I have been together since I was 17, and no I don't agree with you have to date around. Dating around is to find the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, and i've found it. Both our parents and friends are very supportive, it's people outside that will question us. It doesn't matter to me. As long as I feel secure, that's what matters.
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Kristie
Novel turned into BBC miniseries
"If a book is well written, I always find it too short."
Posts: 7,214
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Post by Kristie on Nov 15, 2007 13:56:55 GMT -5
It's been a few months since this thread was on the first page of the board. How are plans coming along, bookaddict and tahlia? And any other new members that are engaged...
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Post by bookaddict on Nov 15, 2007 22:04:29 GMT -5
We've been looking into buying a condo in the spring, once we have the condo we're going to start serious wedding planning. We have the big things all ready decided. We know which church, reception....
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Isa
Administrator
Posts: 6,995
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Post by Isa on Nov 16, 2007 8:56:19 GMT -5
Are you gonna get married in Montreal or Gaspé?
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Post by bookaddict on Nov 19, 2007 10:07:43 GMT -5
We're going to get married in Gaspe. We're buying the condo in Montreal. Everything is really exciting right now.
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Kristie
Novel turned into BBC miniseries
"If a book is well written, I always find it too short."
Posts: 7,214
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Post by Kristie on Nov 19, 2007 15:27:32 GMT -5
Oo, that sounds exciting, but I suppose it can be pretty hectic too. I hope you guys find something that suits you!
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